Friday, November 16, 2007

1 year ago

I was in labor for the last time. In just 4 short hours the trio will officially be 1 year old. Where has the year gone? I can't believe they are 1. I can't believe I have to work on their 1st birthday. I have a feeling that unless I am busy it is going to be a rough day. They are officially no longer babies. They are now toddlers, they just aren't toddling yet. Markas will be soon enough though and I am sure Lucy won't be far behind. I can remember clearly how scared I was. I can remember clearly how scared Steve was. I called him at almost this exact time and told him he needed to leave work and get to the hospital. He didn't know that I had been in labor. In stead of visiting me before he went to work he had come to see me that morning(the 15th). I started having contractions around 7pm but I didn't tell him, in case it was nothing or they were able to stop it again. He got to the hospital and sat with me but really wasn't any help. To complicate matters, there was another mom on the ante-partum unit that was pregnant with triplets and was having some sort of complications, I don't know if she was in labor or not. We were truly stretching them thin. A nurse from L&D came in about 5 and told Steve he needed to get ready, they were taking me to the OR to deliver the babies. I didn't see him after that until I was flat on my back in the OR. The nurse was great. My doctor was wonderful. They both held my hands and did what they could to alleviate my fears. I didn't get to see the babies after they were born. I will never forget the moment they pulled out little miss Lucy and I heard her cry. She sounded like a little kitten. Things get a little fuzzy after that but I do remember hearing the boys cry. I found out after all my complications in recovery that they were transferring the babies to another hospital because they didn't have room in the NICU. There was already 1 set of triplets in there. The other mom that was having problems was being delivered as well. That would have made 3 sets of triplets in the NICU, not to mention all the other babies that were in there. The other mom was only 25 weeks, my babies were much more stable than hers, so, my trio got moved. I got about 5 minutes with them before they were taken away. I was so out of it because of all the blood loss and all the medications, I don't really remember seeing them. I just remember seeing Lucy and Markas in the same isolette and Lucy and Joshua were on ventilators. Then I was soooo sick. Then my blood pressure went through the roof. I was in so much pain, from the c-section and then them trying to stop the bleeding. I have never been in so much pain in my life. It was way worse than any labor I have ever experienced, and I had my first 2 completely natural.
It was so hard on Steve, the babies and I being in different hospitals. He wanted to be with them, he wanted to be with me, knowing that I was still pretty unstable. I wanted him to be with them and I wanted him to not leave my side. I guess it is good thing I was pretty doped up the rest of the day. I vaguely remember him bringing the older 2 to see me. They went first to the hospital the babies were in and then they came to see me. I know they didn't stay long because I didn't really have a clue they were there anyway. I do know when I woke up the next morning, actually it was sometime after midnight, I was so glad he was there with me. He let the nurse do everything, trying to get me out of bed and such, it didn't work by the way. I was just in too much pain. I tried like hell though. Friday night(17th) I made him help me get up. I was bound and determined I was getting up and moving on my own. I did manage to get up and go to the bathroom. It wasn't too much later and I made him help me up and we walked the hall. By Saturday morning I had figured out how to get out of bed on my own. I even took a shower, with the help of a shower chair. I just wanted to be with my babies. I convinced the doctor to let me go home on Saturday despite the fact that my blood count was still low enough to warrant a transfusion, which I never got. That is another story though. I had to make all kinds of promises that I would promply return, via ambulance, if I started to feel weaker, get dizzy, yada yada yada. I had to get out of there. I had to try to connect with my babies. I couldn't stand the thought that there were other people caring for and connecting with my babies when I hadn't even really seen them. We brought all my crap home and then went to the hospital. We spent hours there. We left around 10pm. We came home. I lost it. I cried for the longest time. Steve eventually took me back up to the hospital. It helped some. I was only able to hold Joshua that day. It was another 3 days before I was able to Lucy. It sucked having to ask permission to hold my babies. The monitors beeping was awful but we quickly learned to ignore them. Then there was the bili lights. The eye shields that they had to wear so we couldn't see their tiny little faces. At the time I didn't think they looked like preemies. In hind sight, I was wrong. I was scared. I was scared of what their futures might hold, if there might be any life long problems because I couldn't keep them in just a few more weeks. I was scared how we were going to manage 3 babies and all the financial stuff that goes along with a baby or three. The last year has been a struggle, financially and other wise but I wouldn't trade one single day of it for anything in the world. Steve and I haven't had a night out by ourselves since the end of Decemeber last year. We occassionally get short with one another. We occassionally get frustrated with one another. I have still never loved him more than I love him today but I know that I will love him more tomorrow and every day after that. Our marriage has been great, some bumps along the way, just like any other marriage. I never knew that having these babies would actually make it even better. We have done all of this on our own. We survived. The babies survived and just maybe have thrived. There are certainly things we could have done better but who can't say the same?
Thank you to those who have helped us when we couldn't afford diapers or formula. Thank you to those who prayed for us along the way. Thank you to my fellow triplet and quad mommies for your advice and friendship, your ears I bend, your shoulders I may cry on. I do hope that there is a day when we can all meet in person. Most of us probably would have never been friends was it not for our similar lifes adventure with HOM but I know I am a better mom with ya'lls(it's a TX thing) help.
I can't wait until Saturday and I will post their birthday pics as soon as possible after that. I promise. I am so excited and I have so much to do. UGH! The stress but this too shall pass. I am looking forward to the next year and what it has in store for us.


The Dairy Wife said...

Happy Birthday Babies!

From: Sam, Jay & Meg (your Indiana triplet friends)

MaryBeth said...

Happy Birthday guys!! Hope you have a wonderful party...

Christie McGovern said...

Happy Belated Birthday to the Wheeler Trio!!! Beautiful post Denise. I remember the birthday so clearly. I hope that memory never fades for us.